The video for “Already Home” debuts this Monday on Vevo! Huge thanks Darren Criss and Jessica Szohr for being a part of this - can’t wait for you all to see it.
This is a thank you to fandom for what has been an amazing follow up to a really challenging episode.
I am sure there is ugliness going on out there, but I try to cultivate my dashboard to avoid it for the most part.
But people have been writing amazing stuff—analysis, gifsets, discussions of both guys and their actions and motivations—and for the most part everyone is trying really hard to stay balanced and respectful and is working to understand the characters’ blindspots as well as their own. We’re not all succeeding in that all the time, but I have yet to see it turn to vitriol as it often does.
Yes, there is pain happening out there for many of us about what went down and anxiety about where the writers may be/are taking this story. And some people are calling it quits or are drawing lines for themselves about what stories they are willing to engage with and waiting to see.
But, even while all that is happening people are saying things, expressing ideas, sharing experiences that I have personally found are making me a better person. I’ve been able to digest various viewpoints that are informative to my own stuff and my understanding of my husband and my (long) marriage. I’ve been reminded to be more compassionate when I haven’t been and when I’ve felt personally affronted on behalf of my fave. I’ve found pieces of clarity to bring to my own relationships and am grappling with the fact that I’m not actually part of Klaine so I don’t get to control either of the guys’ responses.
I don’t know, I just feel grateful that people are still out there engaging with the Glee/Klaine text to the extent they are and that they are sharing it with others (in the face of real potential online anon abuse and ugliness). I guess the fact that three days after the episode there is still a high level of discussion and revelation (and actually a surprising lack of fic) means to me that this was a GOOD episode as far as what great art accomplishes. Because to me great art forces people to look at themselves and their experiences and their lives in new ways. It allows people to explore ideas and tackle hard truths. And it doesn’t contain easy answers most of the time. I suspect the fic will come when we’ve collectively grappled a bit longer. No quick fix-it fics present themselves to the current situation, I think.
I’ve felt so many emotions since the episode aired and not all have been good feelings. And I came to Klaine for the happy, you know? So, there is some renegotiating going on in my head about my relationship to Glee canon, just like there was after Episode 4.04. I don’t know where I’ll end up, but I did want to take a minute to say thanks to my fellow Glee fans and Klainers. Without this forum (for all its limitations on discussions that drive me crazy) I would be flailing and far more upset than I feel right now. After all, unlike if I were having a problem with my spouse that I could discuss with real life friends for perspective, I really don’t have anyone in real life that I can talk about Kurt and Blaine who gets why I would even care as much as I do.
adampascalfan replied to your post “daily post about missing jake, marley, unique, ryder, and kitty”Blaine needed a hug last night and I kept thinking “Ryder would give you a hug….you wouldn’t even have to tell him why. Go find Ryder Blaine.”
HE WOULD RYDER WOULD GIVE HIM A BIG HUG MAYBE EVEN A FOREHEAD KISS IDK ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN
I honestly honestly thought that fatboyphysicals was a website to help people who were overweight slim down with exercise tips and techniques and maybe a paid ‘weight watcher’ type service. I thought that it was a website like this so that men didn’t have to feel self conscious in front of women…
Not usually a fan vid gal.
But I really LOVE this. Funny, sweet and pure Blam goodness
Klaine has been messed with SO HARD that today at work I realized I was feeling and acting as if my own marriage was on the rocks or one of my kids was having a crisis.
At least when my marriage struggles I can control one half of the work and responses, ya know?
This hug was so different than any other they had shared prior
typically, in the past, one or the other would initiate - and sometimes both would go in simultaneously - but always they would reciprocate and typically meet half way at the least.
But here - two things happen
Kurt steps in awkwardly in trying to determine how to approach this desperately needed moment of physical intimacy. He must convey through touch what he can’t find in words right now.
Blaine has changed - but so has he. Although they have been aware of one another - they have not tended to each others needs. Kurt’s guilt drives him into this hug seeking his own forgiveness.
Blaine didn’t respond or reciprocate initially
Still afraid and unsure
He waited for Kurt to wrap his arms around him and pull him into his chest
He heard what Kurt had said - and he knew in his heart it was truthful and honest
But he has a doubt that had clearly been eating him up and letting go of it that quickly just didn’t happen
Kurt didn’t just wrap his arms around Blaine in a “I am here to sooth you way” or to show domination in Blaine’s time of weakness.
He knew that this touch needed to convey a lack of judgment and superiority. He knew this had to show equality and bring them back to middle ground.
His left arm went under Blaine’s right and wrapped around his back. As his left went around Blaine’s left shoulder and came around to the right shoulder.
It was that touch and grip to Blaine’s right shoulder that brought up Blaine’s right hand to find Kurt’s back and grip with his fingers.
Immediately following with his left arm and hand which found hold on Kurt’s left shoulder.
Blaine didn’t just return the hug at this point - he grasped onto Kurt. absorbing and accepting all that Kurt was giving him.
Once they settled into the hug - they existed in this moment for just them
Blaine released the tension of his internal battle and buries his face slightly into Kurt’s shoulder and squeezes tighter.
He is only alone if he lets himself be - and he knows he doesn’t have to be - Kurt will always be there.
they breathe together
Each silently recounting the path that brought them here - regret and thankfulness colliding
Blaine drops the wall he had built around himself and lets the emotions go he was working so hard to keep hidden.
The grip lessens as the understanding grows
He no longer holds on out of fear of losing Kurt - but rather holds on to that which will love him unconditionally until he is strong enough to stand on his own again.
A small tear escapes onto his eyelashes and shows the first sign of cleansing the pain, hurt and fear away from his soul
Kurt holds onto that which is more precious and valuable to him than anything else in the world.
In the end it does come down to this - them - it will always be them
They may take turns being the stronger or weaker of the two - but they will never not be equals.
This wasn’t a just a hug
It was reconnecting and affirming of who they are - and what they are to each other.
We shot the music video for “Already Home” this past weekend. AND there will be at least a couple surprises you’re gonna like :)